Teenage Wasteband | Alexis Bledel prepares to slip into something more comfortable in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2.
THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS 2
Directed by Sanaa Hamri. Starring America Ferrara, Amber Tamblyn, Alexis Bledel, Blake Lively. Now playing.
*1/2
It must have been fate: on the night of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 screening, I was sporting my well-worn pair of Levis, which magically fit me (and every other guy with a 34” waist) perfectly. Since high school, they had been with me every step of the way on my heartwarming coming-of-age journey through relationship problems, friendship strife, and juicy girl gossip at my pillow-fight-themed slumber parties. But whereas I shall forever stick by my Levis in times of trial, the Sisterhood traded their original denims for a secondhand pair of patchwork pants, and the results are mottled, though still inoffensive.
Three years after the events of 2005’s Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, the story—which I’m sure you all recall— picks up with the four girls (Lena, Carmen, Bridget, and Tibby) moving away to separate universities and pursuing their own diverse, easily categorized interests, such as soccer, painting, and theatre. Although they are miles apart, they’re still connected by their curve-conforming voodoo pants, which they swap regularly—via FedEx, the official carrier of all enchanted pantaloons—for use whenever seeking emotional comfort.
There’s precious little central plot to Sisterhood 2. Despite their prominence in the title, the Pants feel more like a MacGuffin, barely factoring into the story (though calling it just The Sisterhood might suggest a ritualistic, Cthulhu-worshipping witch cult). This is more of a drawback, as the entire enterprise’s scattershot nature nearly induces whiplash in the viewer, in more ways than one. Besides leaping back and forth between the girls’ separate (though overlapping) lives, the film makes jarring tonal shifts between opposite ends of the emotional spectrum.
The four leads define their characters and differing personalities amiably enough, but the real problem is that director Sanaa Hamri has tried to cram three of Ann Brashares’ original Sisterhood books into one film. Realistic teen-girl issues such as awkward breakups, pregnancy scares, and tension between friends are all handled in a genuinely down-to-earth way, but the glaringly depressing subplot about Bridget’s attempt to reconnect with her grandmother after her mother’s suicide is at odds with the rest of the film’s girl-talk feel.
Similarly, the dialogue goes from sedate, dull chitchat to outrage and anger within seconds. More annoyingly, many of Sisterhood’s actors sound less like they’re making normal conversation as announcing morals directly out of Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul. There’s no faith in the adolescent audience’s ability to pick up on themes like how you need to have a little faith in relationships or how people can be complex; instead, Hamri just hits them over the head with eyeroll-inducing lines like “Sometimes, you just need to have a little faith,” or “Cars are easy. It’s people you need a manual for.”
It’s saccharine schmaltz, but at least it’s wholesome, non-threatening schmaltz. Parents, take comfort: this is Sex and the City for the Seventeen magazine crowd, replacing the vulgarity of Carrie’s brood with the family-friendly, rosy-cheeked romances of a homecoming sock hop.
