Butt Out? | Canadian TV is about to experience a Corner Gas shortage with the end of the beloved homegrown sitcom.
This week, I have a grab bag of bad news. So push up that sleeve, reach in, and watch out for the exposed hypodermic needle I threw in there for fun.
Bad News Item #1: The pumps at Corner Gas have run dry. Yes, everyone’s favourite laconic gas jockey, Brent Butt, has announced that the sixth season, which begins shooting next month, will be the series’ last. Expect the series finale in spring 2009.
Bad News Item #2: CBC won’t give up on dramatic series development. After stupidly axing Intelligence and jPod recently, Mothercorp recently announced two new additions to the 2008-09 lineup. The Session is a woman who uses therapy to revisit her past—literally. Sounds like what might happen if Oprah worked on Journeyman. Also on the slate: The Wild Roses, about a strong, female-dominated family in Alberta fighting over oil money. Dallas meets Heartland, possibly without heart. I’m taking bets on how long these two will last—the line is 13 episodes each. Anyone willing to take the over?
Bad News Item #3: The next season of Survivor will be filmed in HD. Oh goody. Now we can count ribs and rat bites more easily. Many reality shows, Dancing With the Stars and American Idol among them, are already filmed in HD. CBS feels that Survivor in HD will make the show more of a narrative travelogue. Are people flocking to Marquesas these days? The Eye’s other big reality travelogue, The Amazing Race, isn’t in HD yet.
Bad News Item #4: Mark Burnett has more ideas up his sleeve. The Survivor helmer is getting Jingles ready for CBS this summer, in which contestants compete to come up with theme songs and, well, jingles for products. Does anyone else think this is product placement in TV taken to an extreme?
If you haven’t stuck yourself yet, keep rooting around in there. Let’s see what else we can find in the Grab Bag of Doom.
Bad News Item #5: Big retailers Best Buy, Sears and Wal-Mart (among others) have been slapped with fines by the FCC for failing to label their analog TV sets adequately. Consumers weren’t being warned that these sets would fail to receive any over the air digital signals after February 17, 2009. No, rabbit ears won’t work.
Bad News Item #6: Well, bad news for cable companies anyhow. A recent study by consulting company Accenture reveals that TV viewers are more loyal to content than distributors, so they’ll jump to whatever technology or provider will give them what they want, regardless of the cost. But PVRs certainly aren’t in danger. 83 per cent of people polled worldwide dislike watching “live” TV. And incredibly, 46 per cent of 18-to-24-year-olds are watching content regularly on their cellphones.
Bad News Item #7: That 46 per cent is about to get bigger. Much bigger. Canadian mega-screen company IMAX has hired distributor Northstar Media to get its movies onto mobile devices, as well as TV and video on demand. Why is this bad news? Well, I have a hard time imagining watching any of their amazing geographic specials on a two-inch square.
Bad News Item #8: The Simpsons has managed to piss off another country. After already enraging Brazil, Japan, Australia, and Scotland with less than charming characterizations, Argentina is perturbed about one of this season’s episodes. In the ep, which has already aired here, Carl notes that when former President Juan Perón “disappeared you, you stayed disappeared.” Oh, and that his wife was Madonna. But it was the junta regime after Perón’s in the late ’70s under which 30,000 citizens, uh, vanished. Ay caramba! Unfortunately, Argentine politicians don’t have the luxury of banning the show—it’s the country’s highest-rated import.
Now that we’re all informed and depressed, it’s time to go watch new episodes of crappy TV like The Ghost Whisperer. Boy, I wish I could be “disappeared.”
