A funny thing happened on the way to Ottawa last week.

The CRTC is getting ready to review cable rules for the first time in donkeys’ years. (Hallelujah!) In its zeal, it’s proposing that foreign broadcasters start compensating Canadian nets for subscriber and retransmission rights. In other words, CTV wants its money back for Two and a Half Men. (Regardless, that’s years out of our lives that we’ll never get back.)

The argument is clear: networks such as Global pay a ton of money for the right to simulcast House interspersed with ads for Tim Hortons instead of Dunkin’ Donuts. So why aren’t U.S. networks and cable channels contributing to Canadian content in gratitude?

Uh, because they couldn’t care less about Canadian television. 

What I want to know is why we suddenly believe American broadcasters owe us anything. We’ve been stealing signals from south of the border since before the CBC started spewing out its own in 1952. And now we feel entitled to investment?

Is this sense of entitlement brought on by the CRTC’s race to save face in an ever-expanding media environment, or is it simply a way for Canadian broadcasters to extort money in an effort to make up for selling off their own libraries? (I’m looking in your general direction, CBC.)

It’s been a tough week for public broadcasting, and not just in Canada. Last week the French government bailed out public broadcasting channels France 2 et France 3 to the tune of nearly $250 million to make up for crash-and-burn ad revenues. Yes, it’s getting harder to fill sponsor space on les Frances since President Sarkozy put the kibosh on commercial ads on the channels. Go figure.

It’s hard to imagine our Fearless Leader ixnaying commercial advertising on CBC. They can’t even go whole hog on Cancon. In a recent dissent, the Conservatives rejected a cross-party Parliamentary committee recommendation that CBC air only Canadian content in prime time. In any case, afterschool standard The Simpsons is still safe (likely from fear of countrywide revolt and boycott). 

Now, I hate to get down on CBC again. I love CBC. It’s the only radio I listen to. Hate Shelagh Rogers, love Jian Ghomeshi. What’s that you say? They have something called telly-vizhon as well? Huh.

But I have two words for the Mothercorp: license fees.

Also last week, the National Union of Public and General Employees (more than 340,000 strong) complained to the CRTC about our Internet service providers blocking us from using protocols such as BitTorrent. Basically, they were bitching about not being able to download new episodes of Top Chef. ISPs like Rogers and Bell have been geoblocking us for awhile, under the assumption that if we use filesharing sites, it will be to upload (illegal) rather than download (legal) TV show, music, software, and all sorts of proprietary content.

Here’s an idea: unblock BitTorrent, but make us pay for downloading U.S. content that we can’t get in Canada. Then siphon the revenue and put it in the kitty for Canadian broadcasting.

Everybody wins. Except the libertarians. Hey, you can’t get everything for free!