We Have A Wiener! | Our screengrabs of the offending NYPD Blue scene are too racy to print. So instead, enjoy this picture of Meg from Family Guy.
%$#@ you! That’s what the U.S. networks are saying to the Federal Communications Commission these days. (In Canada, our broadcasters add “please” when telling the CRTC to go %$#@ itself.) Last week, Fox, CBS and ABC went to the Supreme Court to object to the FCC’s appeal on a decision that pooh-poohed (can I say “pooh”?) its policy on so-called “fleeting expletives.”
Fleeting expletives are the off-the-cuff, fast and furious remarks that celebrity guests on live shows can’t seem to resist uttering. At the very least, they can’t seem to remember that they’re on live TV, not Howard Stern’s radio show.
After being fined for airing such remarks in 2003 and 2004, Fox appealed to the 2nd Circuit Court, pointing out that the FCC had not cracked down on this kind of thing in decades, nor had the federal agency ever explained its policy. The court agreed, tossing out the fines and ordering the FCC to, at the very least, document and justify its policies.
Then, on January 25, the FCC handed down its biggest fine ever, charging ABC to the tune of $1.4 million for a 2003 episode of NYPD Blue. The fine was prompted by a scene depicting “multiple, close-up views” of a woman’s “nude buttocks.” Viewers likely remember the last big FCC brouhaha, which slapped CBS with a $550,000 fine over Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction.”
Let me clarify—that’s January 25, 2008. The FCC is deciding to fine ABC for a program it aired five years ago, and which is no longer even on the air. Does that strike anyone as a little strange?
You’d think that the FCC would have enough ammunition with shows that are currently on the air! Over the last few years, the agency has heard numerous complaints about such shows as The Simpsons, South Park, Saturday Night Live, Oprah Winfrey, Desperate Housewives, and even The Daily Show.
The FCC’s definition of indecent content covers any program that “depicts or describes sexual or excretory activities” in a “patently offensive way” between the broadcast hours of 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. Of course, ABC is already arguing that ass cheeks shouldn’t count, unless something is going in or coming out of them.
Which makes me wonder—has the FCC ever seen a single episode of Family Guy? (For a litany of complaints to the FCC from concerned Americans about Family Guy, check out www.governmentattic.org/docs/FCC_Complaints_Family-Guy_2005-2007.pdf.) Don’t get me wrong; I like the show. But the way it pushes the envelope never fails to stun me. I’m not one for censorship, normally. Hell, I’ve traumatized (titillated?) university students with classes on hardcore porn. But there are jokes in Family Guy that I have trouble explaining to my eight year-old niece. (“Yes, dear, that lisping old man Herbert is a raving pedophile. Yes, competition ipecac-drinking is hilarious. Yes, God doesn’t like using condoms.”)
But why does Fox choose to blur animated backsides while still allowing Meg to take a package of hot dogs into the bathroom in order to privately dream of the New York Knicks? Which do you think I have a harder time explaining?
Creator Seth MacFarlane has already had a lot of fun taunting the FCC, particularly in his 2005 episode “PTV,” in which Peter starts his own raunchy network after the FCC cracks down on The Dick Van Dyke Show. And obviously Fox has a pretty understanding Standards and Practices department. But thanks to the joys of syndication, you can watch Family Guy several times a day, with no consideration for age-appropriate timeslots. Even executive producer David Goodman doesn’t let his kids watch the show. I guess that’s why we have V-chips, but that’s a topic for another column.
In the meantime, animated characters apparently aren’t bad influences. Tell that to my physics-challenged and acrobatically-ambitious niece who watches Bugs Bunny.
