Once more we’re good and mired in the new TV season, and I’m trying my damnedest to pull my feet out of the mud without losing my shoes in the process.

Ultimately, it’s a lost cause. I know I’m in trouble when I get a message from my PVR on Sunday night reminding me that I can’t record more than two things at once, much less four (the culprits: Mad Men vs. Simpsons vs. Amazing Race vs. Masterpiece Mystery). I’m surprised it didn’t explode on me.

And yes, before you remind that I’m still living in the stone age by actually recording something instead of downloading it, I’m still waiting for you all to get slapped with the proposed new levies your ISP will put on your monthly bill, in order to stimulate Canadian culture.

At least, that’s the theory.

In this last week of the election, most of the spittle flying around is about the economy (I haven’t heard the word “meltdown” in the news so much since Chernobyl), not the “arts.” I’m not going to bother rehashing Stephen Harper’s “subsidized gala” gaffe, but here’s a question that hasn’t really come up much in the debate over the “arts” and its funding: What do we consider television?

Historically, we have considered television production to be a “cultural product,” similar to a particularly fine painting or poem. Our neighbours to the south liken TV programs to widgets — they produce them, they export them, they make money. The chasm between these two points of view are why trade talks have broken down in the past, and why no matter how much money is funneled into the “arts,” we will never reconcile these ideas in Canada.

The irony of a “culture industry” is more than just the fact that it’s an oxymoron. Is the production of television an “art”? Does it require inherent creativity? Yes. Is it an industry that does not exist without the ability to generate revenue? Damn right. People who produce television programming without the intention to make money are also known as Wayne and Garth.

So, politicians, if you want to put money into the “arts,” then think carefully about what they constitute. Thankfully, unless (until?) Bill C-10 is passed, our fearless leaders will not be asked to make a value judgment that will affect the production of our nightly viewing. But even if they do, there are no guarantees that we’ll get anything new and innovative.

This fall, it seems that all we have to look forward to is much of the same as before: election coverage from both sides of the border. Another season of Dancing With the Stars. Being a football widow on Sundays.

I’m suddenly realizing that watching the Outdoor Life Network on my 52” is not the same as running in the river valley. I can watch Slice, or actually go out for one. And don’t get me started on the irony of Book TV.

Life is short, especially when you fast-forward through it. And the bottom line is that my life is too full right now to press that pretty button (though sometimes I wish I could).

So, gentle readers, it’s time to take a step back. I don’t mean a step back as in watching Silver Spoons on DejaView. I mean from Teleprompter. I have to let my poor PVR recover from the abuse it’s been taking for the past year, after all. I hope to be back in the New Year, but until then, happy watching!

And don’t forget to vote! Remember, it’s your right as a TV viewer! [Actually, we’re sending Nic away for democracy lessons... —Ed.]