My only resolution this year is to rock as hard as I can, as much as I can. And unlike the decision to quit drinking or stop smoking, there is no better place to get started on my little pledge to myself than at one or more or all of this year’s New Year’s Eve extravaganzas. So I say give up the torturous task of coming up with something you don’t want to do and join me in the only resolution you know you’ll be able to fully commit yourself to in 2009: rock ’n’ roll.

In order to get you started, we’ve compiled a list of the sweetest shindigs around town. Along the way we also asked some of the bands to divulge the promises they’ve made to themselves for the New Year — resolutions they will struggle with all year while we can revel in our own assured success. Go us!

(1) You can see Les Tabernacles’ Liam Harvey Oswald take his last puff at the Pawn Shop alongside Whitey Houston and Coffin Ships.

“My resolution this year is to quit smoking cigarettes,” Oswald says. “My resolution last year was to quit smoking cigarettes. If I don’t manage to quit smoking cigarettes this year, I will no longer take part in the tradition because I like to smoke cigarettes ... or I died of lung cancer.”

Maybe it’s just me, but he doesn’t sound like he’s 100 per cent behind that one, but I’m sure he’ll be 100 per cent behind the show on New Year’s Eve. It’ll be a smokin’ (in a non-cigarette kinda way) good time. Whitey, of Whitey Houston, is also nixing the cigs. He’s fairly confident about that one, since he doesn’t smoke. Tickets are at The Pawn Shop, BlackByrd, Freecloud, and Listen.

(2) Speaking of confident, I’m thinking The Trews and Big Sugar at the Shaw Conference Centre, will be, and I’m not using the word lightly, awesome. Apparently The Trews will literally be sharing the stage with a reunited Big Sugar (well, strictly speaking, it’s really just Gordie Johnson and Mr. Chill). I can’t wait to see a Guitar Hero-esque rock battle between Trews guitarist John-Angus MacDonald and Johnson. If I were a bettin’ gal, I’d put my money on the speakers exploding. Tickets at Ticketmaster.

(3) Cecil the Weasel from The Hank and Lily Show, a vaudeville-based experimental indie act you can catch at the ARTery on the 31st, would like to address the idea of the resolution.

“The mindless sacks of flesh who make these ‘resolutions’ are rarely able to commit to them and thereby are undermining the meaning of the word,” he writes via e-mail. “I would feel more comfortable if we were to call them ‘attempted life adjustments.’ But even this makes me squirm in borrowed skin a little.” Did I mention they’re kind of kooky? Cecil’s attempted life adjustment is to start smoking.

Lily, on the other hand, is shooting for the stars with her resolution. “Stop stealing babies (’cuz Hank says it’s wrong, so I guess he is right).” Good luck with that. Hank and Lily will have support in their endeavours from GhostKeeper, The Sunset 6 and The Secretaries, who plan to “get sponsored by a tequila manufacturer for a European tour, and then by an opium manufacturer for a tour of Hades.” Help them achieve these lofty goals by attending this cabaret-themed whirligig into the New Year. Tickets at Blackbyrd and Megatunes.  

(4) If you really want to dive right into our “attempted life adjustment” of nonstop rock, The Starlite Room is the place to go. While Brixx (formerly known as Velvet Underground) and The Starlite Room will share the likes of The Mad Bomber Society, Raygun Cowboys, Let’s Dance, Illfit Outfit, Red Ram, Instant Pink, and The Michael James Band, The Temple will have DJs spinning for your constant entertainment. You’re going to need to hydrate and caffeinate for this one. Tickets at Blackbyrd, Freecloud, Listen, and Foosh.

(5) If you want to pace yourself a little, catch The Wheat Pool playing the Black Dog Freehouse. An intimate venue filled with some real Canadian spirit seems like a perfect way to greet the New Year. Friends, beer, country-rock ... that’s what I call starting off on the right foot. Grab your tickets from the Dog itself.

(6) Tupelo Honey, with Murder City Sparrows, will be holding down the Urban Lounge on the Eve. And while they are sure to bust out those soaring rock anthems, they are far more realistic about their future goals.

“We all try to make New Year’s resolutions but they are always really lame,” says Tupelo Honey guitarist Dan Davidson. “Individually we all make the classic ‘get into shape,’ ‘read more’ type of resolutions. It seems that people figure out what they really want to change about themselves as the year goes on. As a band we just wanna work on writing way more often, and being nicer to our van. We should probably clean that thing — I’m pretty sure there’s something growing on the back seat that now has teeth and hair.” Seek out Ticketmaster or the Urban Lounge for tickets. 

(7) How about resolving to “give up the grudge” with Gob at Jet Nightclub? Sweat off the toxic buildup from 2008 bouncing around while singing along to some punchy punk. Everybody!: “I may be a loser, but at least I’m not alone!” That song is so cathartic. Try Ticketmaster for a pair.

(8) Last, but certainly not least, is the sweet-ton of non-alcoholic happenings in and around Sir Winston Churchill Square. We got Kevin Flesher, Five on the Side, Colleen Rae & Cornerstone and Souljah Fyah outside. Inside at Stanley A. Milner Library, you can catch Marco Claveria and Back Porch Swing. CBC’s putting on a show at their Centre Stage with Kat Danser, The Polyrhythm Excitement Club with the Vibe Tribe Dancers, and Christian Hansen and The Autistics. Not to mention the face-painting, ice-skating, crafting, balloon artists, and horse and wagon rides. Oh, and fireworks! Don’t forget the fireworks! Back off, kiddies, I’m first! Your ticket is you showing up ready to have a good time.

Have fun, everybody, and here’s to a musical 2009!! See you at the show....