SCORPIO (OCT. 23 – NOV. 21)

The time has come to stop dippin’ your toes in the water ’cause it ain’t gonna get any colder or hotter. This week, you’ve just gotta go ahead and jump right on in if you wanna do better than simply gettin’ by and survivin’. That’s ’cause whenever you’re in over your head, you really start thrivin’!

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 – DEC. 21)

When you use a warhorse to plow the field for too long, things’ll start to go wrong. Fer instance, too much domestication and you just might cause it to forget how to help you in a fight. This week, if you wanna be ready for any surprises, make sure you run your war-horse through combat exercises!

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 – JAN. 19)

If you quit worryin’ ’bout winnin’ all the time, you’ll realize everything’ll turn out fine. That’s ’cause when you start usin’ your peripheral vision, you can see alternate routes to realize your ambition. The moment you give up obsessin’ on success is when you get more opportunities than Versace’s got dresses!

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 – FEB. 18)

If you’re wonderin’ why lately you’re feelin’ so low down ’n’ blue, the only thing in the way of your happiness is you. When you’re comin’ ’round to the brass ring, there ain’t no one who’s just gonna give it to you, dagnabbit. You’re the one who has to reach out and grab it!

PISCES (FEB. 19 – MARCH 20)

A lot could happen on the road up ahead and one of ’em’s runnin’ into a dead end. That don’t mean your destination was wrong, it means you need a different path to walk along. Now’s the time to take the first step towards followin’ your heart. Just make sure you have an alternate route worked out before you start!

ARIES (MARCH 21 – APRIL 19)

Don’t stress. This turn of events in no way prevents you from attainin’ success. Although it may look like a bomb, your safest reaction is to remain calm. No matter how uneasy it may make you feel, it’s simply a jog of fortune’s wheel. When the dust’s finally cleared up, you’ll find you’re actually quite cheered up!

TAURUS (APRIL 20 – MAY 20)

You may be hatin’ waitin’, but put your faith in fate ’n’ keep on hesitatin’. Don’t peak or freak or go on a butt-kickin’ streak ’cause sometime within the next week you’re gonna get the final answer you seek. Till then your safest bet is to not do anything, especially something you might regret!

GEMINI (MAY 21 – JUNE 20)

Instead of not listenin’ to what someone else’ll say ’cause you figure you’ve got it all worked out anyway, this week, pay careful attention — even to the words that a simpleton mentions. You’ll notice that the more you think you don’t know, the more your intelligence’ll be able to grow. Besides, you never know who’s got good info!

CANCER (JUNE 21 – JULY 22)

If you think you can’t help bein’ wishy-washy ’cause you’re a water sign, then you’d better think twice. Under the right conditions that water can turn into cold, hard, jagged ice. That’s why, this week, when you sense an upcomin’ change in the seasons, it’s time to protect yourself and start your waters a-freezin’!

LEO (JULY 23 – AUG. 22)

Right now, you’re negotiatin’ with a dog and, as a cat, you’re forgettin’ how dumb they are. If you try to pry that bone away from ’em, you won’t get too far. Pretend you’re much more interested in a smaller one. Then when Red Rover comes over for the inferior bone, you can snatch up the good one and take it on home!

VIRGO (AUG. 23 – SEPT. 22)

Bein’ a goody two-shoes givin’ you the blues? Well, you’re a dependable earth sign, what else can you do? Don’t worry, this is simply a phase, and your restlessness’ll pass, so don’t be so quick to turn on the gas. Although you may wanna bust loose, havin’ a hot time now would just cook your own goose!

LIBRA (SEPT. 23 – OCT. 22)

Your ship’s gettin’ battered and tossed, but don’t despair too much, ’cause all ain’t yet lost. The thing is, grabbin’ the wheel yourself is your only hope’s cost. You’re the captain of your own destiny, and if you do nothin’ now, you’ll end up lost at sea. There ain’t no higher stakes, so don’t be afraid to do whatever it takes!

You can contact The Kid at cruisinthecosmos@hotmail.com.