Imagine Daryl Katz walking up the stairs to CBC’s Dragon’s Den. To the assembled millionaires, he lays out his usual adjectives about progress and vision, then asks for hundreds of millions of dollars in return for zero — I repeat zero — percentage of his golden arena’s front-line profits. Leaving irrelevancies like his personality and mannerisms out of this, it’d be a dead-end sell. Of course, city council and by extension you and I aren’t millionaires at the top of a staircase. Daryl Katz is, but while we’re up here, there’s nothing wrong with either millionaires or staircases. Shitty cases, on the other hand, cases which financially rape and leave in ruins perfectly functional existing infrastructure and tax-attack their competitor neighbours directly …

As is completely obvious to even the most dedicated Oilerdome booster, and even Katz is admitting this, he wants full and complete control of the entire revenue stream, from game tickets, to parking, to every kernel of popcorn. I understand that desire; we’re born hungry. But how is it verboten in some circles to analyze that we’re dealing with a company which, despite selling out endless regular-season games for the worst team in the NHL, can’t find a more creative way to make a profit than calling on a titanic act of socialism? One example: by convincing the city to tax businesses surrounding it at higher levels, even though this complex to recoup costs must and actually should do everything in its power to be a self-contained market. It’ll be like dropping a Wal-Mart into a small town — which is morally accepted enough in a market economy. But a socialized sports venue? While I’m glad council is firm on no civilian taxes being raised, why does outlying Soul Soup or Wee Book Inn have to sacrifice for a gated community in its midst? Katz’ willingness to go along with this is another black mark, an argument he shouldn’t be given all the bargaining power.

Despite the reality this entire hockey league is completely overpriced from player salaries downward, the most fundamental understanding of capitalism dictates if a for-profit organization is not making enough money yet selling out of its product, prices need to be adjusted upwards and will always allow for it. And before you argue Katz wouldn’t need to do this if he owned his own building, where in hell do you suppose he’ll get the money to pay for his construction? Ticket prices are going up, anyway.

But two fundamental lies — total fabrications — sit blackening at the heart of this entire issue. The first, that Rexall is in any way in ruins, or that any of the minor issues with it flow couldn’t be fixed. Its age? Absolutely irrelevant except as a testimony to its builders. If your personal confidence is somehow tied to what morons in other cities say about your NHL rink, I suggest you visit a licensed psychiatrist. 

Yet Katz Group has now stated its team will not play a renovated Rexall, yet denied this is a threat. Bullshit. Just watch.  Another black mark.

The second false premise is even more frustrating, considering it’s people who don’t leave their fucking suburbs who most often say it. For the record, downtown is not actually dead, as weekend after weekend of a packed Churchill Square and — I hate to say it — meat markets like Oil City Roadhouse and the Bank have proven with block-long lineups. You can complain about the sort of person the bar scene suggests, but careful there, because pretty much all of them are dedicated hockey fans who spend considerable amount of money on Oilers merchandise, seemingly to no effect where Mr. Katz is concerned. Breaking down this “dead” myth at its roots, the downtown mall Edmonton Centre saw a massive drop-off in its clientele when, you know, the biggest shopping centre on the planet opened its doors in the suburbs, no parking fees or one-way streets. And you all know this, traffic downtown still isn’t dreamy. It’s no Calgary, but imagine throwing multiple thousands of extra cars in the mix when an event shows up, parking dollars shifted from elsewhere into Katz’s pockets?

Nonetheless, living here I reject the idea downtown is dead, especially compared to financial districts of small hamlets such as Montreal, Toronto and New York City, all of which are ghost towns on a Tuesday afternoon or a Saturday night. If you sneer from the suburbs downtown is dead, perhaps you should try actually patronizing it, as many do, thanks in part to countless festivals, theatre, the non-profit Alberta Gallery of Art, etc. 

Now Katz Group has put back the $100 million they originally offered, then denied, onto the table. Good. There you go, buddy! Just a few hundred million to go and you can pay the price for the thing you want! Because that’s how everyone else has to do it.

Then, as a gift in good faith, the city can perhaps offer to deal with the massively expensive surrounding infrastructure renovations, the Northlands unemployment mess and eternal issues of downtown transportation, policing, litter and so on until you powder up the shiny team and sell it off down the pipe.