Cover Story Theorem
Noun • Kids + Violence + Pets + Semi-naked Women = Highest selling newspaper ever.
“I think we’ll go with picture of the pregnant drunken cheerleader who threw her kitten into the MMA fight over the baby in a puppy costume who accidentally shot his mother while she was practicing her stripping. It satisfies the cover story theorem. No, I don’t care that the kitten is photoshopped.”

Horrorclasm
Adjective •When things that are weird get weirder. “So she’s 15 and he’s 12 and she’s having his kid? And now they aren’t even sure it’s his kid? That’s a total horrorclasm. Next thing you are probably going to tell me is that two nuclear submarines crashed into each other even though they have state of the art tracking technology and are in one of the largest bodies of water in the world. That would be utterly ridiculous.”

Youryou’re
Adjective • Saving the English language one combination of two constantly misused words at a time. “Youryou’re going to youryou’re grandmother’s after the pool got it? Then youryou’re getting youryou’re homework done for youryou’re English class the next day. What do you mean youryou’re grandmother won’t let you on the computer?”