Dear Josey:

Going down on my guy and swallowing when he comes really turns me on. But I do wonder what I’m ingesting. What’s in sperm? Is it a protein? Is it fatty? Is it healthy?

The Big Gulp

Dear Big:

That must be so annoying for your guy, you buggin’ him all the time to swallow his cum. I can’t say I’m a huge fan of swallowing—sucking back raw eggs isn’t really high on my list of fun things to do either—but I certainly can understand how the idea of it is a turn-on, and I know this intimate gesture doesn’t go unappreciated by most guys. 

As for what’s in the stuff, cum is basically a mix of fructose (a little sugar buzz gives sperm the energy to swim), prostaglandins (to stimulate the vaginal muscles and help the little guys on the trek up) and clotting agents to make it all stay up there. 

But cum has plenty of other fun ingredients too. In fact, the list of ingredients is about as appealing and mysterious as the one on a box of Froot Loops—but here goes: aboutonia, ascorbic acid, blood-group antigens, calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, choline, citric acid, creatine, deoxyribonucleic acid, fructose, glutathione, hyaluronidase, inositol, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, purine, pyrimidine, pyruvic acid, sodium, sorbitol, spermidine, spermine, urea, uric acid, vitamin B12, and zinc, all in modest quantities.

Don’t ask me what half of this stuff is, but none of it strikes me as fatty. And since the average ejaculate measures about a teaspoon (yeah, that whole “cumming buckets” thing is a bit of a myth) and contains roughly 15 calories, there’s probably no need to curb your enthusiasm.

Dear Josey:

My husband has a thing for bare feet—no pantyhose or spiked heels or anything like that, just plain, clean, bare feet. He says just seeing me walk barefoot in the house or watching TV with my bare feet pointed toward the television makes his body tingle. Throughout the couple of years we’ve been married, I have gotten used to it, and have even begun to like our foot-inclined sex life. He likes to lick my soles, kiss and suck my toes, and I happily caress his face and his penis (sometimes to orgasm) with my feet. I should add that our sex life is not all about feet. In fact, it’s pretty fabulous and I’m not bothered by his foot preference. 

My question is, where would this come from? Why feet instead of breasts, for example? 

Putting My Foot in His Mouth 

Dear Putting:

Why feet instead of breasts? One might well ask why breasts instead of feet? 

Most of us are hardwired to be turned on by the obvious sex-related organs, but our entire bodies are sexual. Some women would die to get their man to move beyond their tunnel-vision focus on boobs and vaginas. I think it’s great that you have welcomed your husband’s fetish and that he respects the fact that, since it’s his preference not yours, sex can’t always be about feet. 

And as far as fetishes go, feet are one of the most common objects of desire. Maybe it’s the toe cleavage or their phallic shape when you point them—they’re just easy to sexualize. As for the cause of your husband’s foot fetish, it’s hard for me to say without knowing his past. However, fetishes are often triggered by something the person associated with early sexual feelings. Did he spend a lot of time when he was a kid hanging out under the table staring at people’s feet? Did he play a lot of footsie with a childhood sweetheart? Who knows? But ultimately, if you’re both good with it, does it matter?

Dear Josey:

I’ve had a vasectomy and I’ve conceded that my lover may have a negative reaction to taking it in her mouth. Does the taste change when the little buggers are gone?

Concerned about Aftertaste

Dear Aftertaste:

A vasectomy involves having the tube that carries sperm from your testicles—the vas deferens—cut or cauterized. This means that post-vasectomy you shoot sperm-free spunk.

But since sperm makes up only about two per cent of your semen, I doubt very much that it would have much effect on the taste of your ejaculate. I wonder if your concession to your lover’s negative reaction might have more to do with some feeling on your part that you’re somehow “not the man you once were.” Why not let your lover make that decision for herself?