Director Renny Harlin attempts to rekindle a Lost Boys vibe with The Covenant, another teen chiller concerning the perils of shared ancestry and the secrets that come with it. The ’87 Haim-Feldman vehicle was no piece of high art, but at least you kinda cared about the fate of the two Coreys as they dealt with Kiefer’s badass vampire. But here it’s impossible to give a damn about the fates of any of the characters, resolutely interchangeable cutouts that they are.

It isn’t a case of talented actors trying to breathe life into a dud script, oh no. It’s more about She’s The Man stars being on a we-don’t-give-a-shit lark as they toss off lines with all the conviction of Grade 10 drama students. It’s about the producers–who have Underworld to their credit–and their indecision regarding tone. Are they making a really scary horror flick, or a piece of lazy ’80s don’t-shower-or-fall-asleep cheese? Are these guys vampires or not? Your guess will be as good as theirs.

Not that the premise isn’t promising. According to the Book of Damnation, five powerful families in Salem, Massachusetts, formed a secret covenant. One of them sought more power and their bloodline banished... until now. Their 21st Century descendants must deal with the consequences of this power, called "using," as it matures on their 18th birthdays and they "ascend." Collegiate Caleb Danvers (Steven Strait) is about to hit that milestone, and his mom (Wendy Crewson) is scared she’ll lose him to using’s rapid aging powers just as she lost his father. Mysterious deaths, sicknesses, nightmares, and other mayhem abound, as likable newcomer Chase Collins (Sebastian Sten) befriends Caleb.

Unfortunately, that intriguing premise is never fully explored, so concerned are Harlin and screenwriter J.S. Cardone with showing us how these people party down, bed down, swim, and shower rather than a giving us an explanatory flashback or two. Yes, Hitchcockites will chuckle at the Danvers’ Rebecca reference, and there are sly Nightmare on Elm Street references in the score. But the once-competent Harlin directs The Covenant as it were a tepid TV pilot until the third act’s long overdue chills, and by then your senses will be too dulled by colorless characters in stock situations to care.