They are everywhere, spreading like vermin all over the airwaves. It wasn’t enough for the Arctic Monkeys to beat all UK sales records for their first week on the market by finding a home in the shopping bags of over 360,000 people with their debut-smash-sensation-uber-hit-machine (superlatives are failing me), Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not, but they also managed to drive the UK press absolutely ape shit insane.

Now they’re being called the greatest thing since the Beatles (maybe for corporate execs who have seen CD sales numbers steadily declining for a number of years), and sliced bread no longer holds its special place in "the greatest thing since" saying. From now on, it’s all about those teenage Arctic Monkeys.

Even NME (who aren’t necessarily known for having a characteristically British and understated approach to music journalism) are rewriting the big book of music history.

Hear this: Whatever People Say... is the fifth most important British record of all time. Yup. That virus of an album’s been out for less than a month and it’s already, according to NME, a masterpiece ranking higher than the Clash’s London Calling, the Beatles’ Revolver, or any album by the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, The Who, or David Bowie (all of whom didn’t even make the list). The capper is the Libertines sitting awkwardly in position number 10 with Up The Bracket. Say what? (On the other hand, The Stone Roses’ self-titled masterwork sits at #1.)

Now, don’t get me wrong. The Arctic Monkeys nailed it right on the head with a record that pulses with a vibrant energy–dancey and thrilling, infectious as Ebola. It’s a mighty fine rock record, and–no, I’m not caving in just yet–one that could potentially top some lists at the end of the year. Let’s just not get too carried away.

Sonic’s Jason Manning admittedly doesn’t really kneel at NME’s pompous altar of music history revisionism. But those Monkeys have bitten him, and he’s one of the more "balanced" voices praising their landmark debut album.

"I have had this CD in my car for the last few weeks," Manning said, indicating a fervent enthusiasm for the UK sensation. "But I agree with the NME thing, they go overboard way too much."

If "whatever people said they were, they were not," then the Arctic Monkeys certainly wouldn’t be a warranted listen that gets everybody’s well-earned stamp of approval.

The Fuzz

Last week, CJSR music director Jay Hannley was telling me how the new Destroyer album was making him positively reconsider his appreciation for the Vancouver-based indie rock act. But it seems the tides have turned and Hannley has already moved on to, hum, trippier vistas.

"Yeah Destroyer was so yesterday," he stated in an e-mail he sent to SEE a few days after our conversation. "Right now I've got this band called Citay spinning–it's hot. The kids are calling it chamber metal, or post-psych-pop. I say screw the labels, sit back, and enjoy it. This self-titled album is a project by Ezra Feinberg, formerly of Piano Magic, in collaboration with Tim Green from the Fucking Champs, and is released on Important Records. It is taking me to a dimension where Zep, the Moody Blues, Donovan, the Scorpions, and Steve Vai all live in harmony on a pillow made of marshmallow synth-crackle-pop. Ooh, I think the acid kicked in... Whoa... Fuzzy carpet, sweet-tasting fuzzy carpet... Now this is a trip I don't want to come down from."