Jean Chretien, it’s been a week already since you left. And at first I was going to say I missed you, but it’s not that. Maybe later, but not now.

It’s sort of exciting, so far, with Paul, eh? He’s doing and saying a lot of stuff that seems very proactive and often quite responsible. Actually, now that he’s finally doing his thing, it’ll be interesting to see what that thing is. You managed to hold him off for so long that everyone’s eager to find out why that was. So that’s exciting. Everybody needs their stuff shaken up now and then.

I am kind of sorry to see you go, though, Jean. There’s just no telling when next we’ll see such an inarticulate, obviously-unfit-for-the-position lout occupy the Prime Minister’s spot again, especially now that Ralph Klein has confirmed, once again, that he will not seek the leadership of the, heh-heh, new Conservative Party. Not that he would ever actually be elected PM, but you know what I mean–there’s not even the potential for it if he won’t take the bait, right?

I think Ralph’s left Albertans of all political stripes feeling a little disappointed. The ones who, in spite of all evidence to the contrary, still think he’s the only one qualified to lead this province are kind of sad that ol’ Ralph won’t be heading to Ottawa and tearing all those hoity-toity, West-dissing Easterners a new one, but you know who’s really down about his decision to stand pat? Those of us who can’t forget or forgive the ideology-driven nincompoopery he stands for: the bullying and name-calling, the grandstanding, the tantrums, and, most recently, the bored and put-upon expression that roams over his face whenever someone asks him about "issues."

How our hands ached from the finger-crossing they exercised when Klein would, as his not-actually-very-good-friend Stockwell Day did before him, fall prey to the attack of ego that would see him reach too far! Imagine the almost-daily ass-kicking he would receive from Paul Martin, followed by a second one from a national press corps not nearly so pathetically toothless as Alberta’s! Why, that would almost compensate for the even-less-likable schmuck we would undoubtedly replace him with, but...what’s that? Yes, yes, Jean, you would have kicked his ass, too–maybe even literally.

But that’s never going to happen, is it? You’re gone, and, alas, Klein is too smart a politician to imagine that he could possibly lead a federal opposition party. To do so, he knows he would have to argue clearly and effectively more often, grandstand less. He’d have to learn to cooperate and persuade–probably even compromise sometimes–and he would, at least occasionally, have to plan ahead. And if some reporter decided to get smart, he couldn’t just cut him out of the loop, could he? Klein knows where his bread is buttered, don’ ’e?

Ah, Jean, I didn’t mean for this to turn into a big gripe about Ralph, but between the I told you so bit about the war, and the same-old, same-old over health–the most recent national health council snit and the (probably quite hollow) threat that he might turn his back on a billion dollars worth of healthcare transfers–who could help but fantasize about finally being rid of him? You’re lucky: you don’t have to fantasize anymore. And the deficients out here are lucky, too–he’s still here, providing all Albertans with the leadership they deserve. For as long as so frickin’ many of us can’t be bothered to go out once every 3 or 4 frickin’ years and cast a lousy vote.

But what about the rest of us? What do we get?