SEE Magazine
Issue #393: June 14, 2001
Copyright © 2001. All Rights Reserved

Up Front ICING ON THE CAKE by Big Dougie Tokaryk The finger has been pointed and it holds a Gillette Sensor Excel as it puts the finishing touches on Raymond Bourque’s freshly coiffed, Stanley Cup-kissed chin. Well it’s over, all in a day. Guess it’s better it ends this way. Now, besides my peculiar penchant for 1970s lame lyrics (other than Toto or The Little River Band) I am, like the song implies, a little conflicted on how this cup runneth ended. I’m glad guys who have to tick the 35 to 50 box on most surveys get to hoist the thing; sad though that another geezer John Vanbiesbrouck doesn’t. I’m mad that putzy Patrick puts his game together and cons his Smythe (that is a legitimate sports pun that could get me work on the dailies) for the third time, but happy that Alexander Mogilny’s entire NHL career osmosis’ (not a word) in nine weeks. Mr. Mogilny was so hot and cold that seven Devil teammates are convalescing with mild cases of hypothermia in Newark. Got a quick note from new-found friend Old Story. He’s on a Step Grant working as a nude model for a steel sculptor in Mundare. And, no, I didn’t ask. Old Story indeed. So I’m scared. The season’s over, it’s summer in the city and this correspondent, like salmon on the barbeque, is simply not done. But what to do? Ladies and Gentleman, say hello to Big Dougie Hoe. No, I’m not dressed in a Hawaiian shirt singing Tiny Bubbles to a roomful of tourists paying $9.75 a highball. And no, I’m not the world’s ugliest transvestite (although despite all my walking I still don’t have an ass). No, no, no, my fellow travellers, let’s go deep into the garden and tell each other secrets. Now I haven’t worked this out completely but… Dandelion: Friend, foe, or interesting substitute when you’ve run out of mustard? Next week: Get to know your neighbours – street hockey with lawn ornaments. So for now, this is a very relaxed, I’m sorry I didn’t get that fax, Big Dougie Tokaryk, saying what have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this? Listen to Big Dougie Tokaryk’s Icing on the Cake Wednesdays on Clockwork Orange Juice, 7-9 a.m. on CJSR FM 88.

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